How to Love Yourself Even If You’re Struggling to Do So

By Reona Saito

October 17, 2019

Do you love yourself?…

Maybe, that’s probably a tough question for some of you since you are reading this…

But I want you to know that you are not alone.

In this society, it’s rather hard to find a person without any insecurities about their own body and loving themselves fully.

There are just too many things that bring us down, especially because of the internet and twisted belief systems shared in this world. 

I understand there are many people who are insecure about our own bodies and struggling to love ourselves, just like I was the same.

So if you want to change that and love yourself by becoming really confident and enjoy your life without ever being shameful of your body… 

Keep on reading to find out how to develop self-love that can never be taken away and be a star!

I wrote this article hoping to rewire your negative limiting beliefs about the body, and bring some positive perception shift to your mind so you can finally develop self-love and self-esteem which are necessary for having a quality life.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this article today:

– How to understand your own uniqueness & beauty
– How to overcome negative body images
– How to accept yourself & love your body
– How to get alignment with your natural being

… and many more.

Table of Contents

1. Understanding Your Negative Emotional Reaction & Insecurity

So many of us have some kind of insecurities about our own body image, from the smallest (you barely worry) to big ones that you can’t stop worrying about. 

It’s completely different in individual level. 

However, being a little bit insecure about your own body is totally okay. Trust me almost everyone has it! I was the same. 

In the old days, I didn’t have confidence about my appearance even though people usually told me that I’m handsome which I was very happy to hear even if it’s just a compliment.

But did it help me become confident? Yup, to some extent… but for temporally.

They didn’t give me enough confidence or take my insecurities away.

Doesn’t this sound familiar to you?

Your friends tell that you look “good”… but you can’t fully believe in their words and you still struggle to have confidence no matter how much people tell you so.

1-1: Developing the Confidence that Nobody Else Can Take Away

Confidence is gone. 

You don’t like yourself. 

You can’t stop help but worrying about how others are seeing you… pretty much all the time, even if you want to STOP doing that.

Do these things often happen to you?

This happens because you are quite insecure about your own body image or the way you are.

I’m sure at some point of your life, you’ve had (still have) those people or friends who unnecessary make fun of your body parts or the way you are… and you probably had to smile away (even though it hurts you inside).

And when you realize? 

Your confidence gone, you can’t stop worrying about how others are seeing you.

Maybe, that’s been you…

But you REALLY shouldn’t give a shit about what others have to say or think about you. 

Don’t take their words personally, because they can never define you, they are only defining themselves by defining the version of you in their mind. 


You have to accept the fact that you can NOT control what others think of you, no matter what. It's beyond your control, but you can control your own reaction to their own definitions about you. You can either feel ashamed of yourself by believing their negative words, or feel fabulous because you believe in your self-value.

Which person do you want to be?

Remember it’s simply your choice, whichever you believe.

You can never develop “internal confidence“ (which brings you peace) based on situations in the external world.


You can never develop "internal confidence"​ (which brings you peace) based on situations in the external world.

1-2: You Are Seeing Yourself Through Your Own Filters

True confidence never comes from outside but from within. 

Yes, that’s it. 

But sadly, many people don’t know this and they are obsessed with their own image of “beauty” and try to reach it even going through dozen of plastic surgeries.

This 35 year old guy spent even $100K to look like the infamous pop star, Justin Bieber.

But there are many people like him who does anything to be someone else, to achieve the image of their own “beauty”.

Well, I’m not blaming them or something!

Nothing’s wrong with that at all, we all have the desire (including myself) to look good.

We all have a different perception of what ”beauty” looks like (that you want to be) and what we actually look like.

Of course, there’s a gap between the two images which is very normal, however, many people are not feeling “beautiful” just because they think they are not close enough to the image of their own “beauty”.

Just because you don’t look like her/him, doesn’t mean you are not beautiful.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way!


Deep inside, you are unconsciously perceiving yourself in a negative way, because of the *negativty body images* ​(definitions/beliefs) towards yourself. If we want to be confident, we have to let go of these negative beliefs about yourself.

1-3: Be Responsible for Your Own Emotion

So no matter how much people tell you that “you are beautiful”… if your own definition about your appearance doesn’t match to the image of your “beauty”, you wouldn’t feel beautiful. 

It’s because nobody else is actually making you feel happy or beautiful, most emotions are all coming from your own definitions about things.


With that said, remember your emotion is merely your *response* to the outcome (what happened).

Where do you feel emotions? You don’t feel emotion outside of you, do you? You FEEL them inside you, through your soul.

1-4: Beyond Your Physical Boundaries

Now, you know the core problem.

And you want to change it so that you can live your life being super confident just like Miley. She’s so fearless and shameless.

Heh, I’m just kidding!

I know you don’t have any intention to show off like her.

But things aren’t that simple when it comes to changing your definition since it’s a programming in your mind.

However, there’s an effective way to cope with your insecurity coming from your negative body images and boost your confidence (which I’m talking in detail in this article).

To do this, I want you to understand about relations between your mind and physical body first.

A physical body has its limitations and boundaries defined by the natural conditioning as known as “genetics”.

Everyone knows it, but it’s NOT the whole truth.

It is not what you’ve thought you knew or learned in school.


The fact is our DNA is controlled by our state of vibrational energy as everything else is made from it, and this fact has been proven by science. As I covered about this already, a foremost field biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton says our genes are in fact controlled and manipulated by how our minds perceive and interpret our environment. It was formerly believed by science that it is our genes themselves which dictate our traits – that our genes form our body, who and how we are.

Although, a Japanese scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto did experiments on how the human consciousness energy (thoughts & emotion) can affect water crystals. 

Watch the video below to see his experiments:

His study is very interesting, I recommend you watch this video to deepen your understandings about the human consciousness power.

After watching this video, I know you just imagined how bad your negative thoughts would be affecting your body…

It’s obvious that low vibrational (negative) frequencies are harming your cells.

Diseases (except congenital ones) are result of accumulating negative energy for so long.


Just like there is NO exactly the same water crystals, there's no two exactly the same human bodies too (even twins) because of the differences in energy level. So each body has its own unique features.

2. Healing Your Negative Body Images

The physical mind has a certain belief (idea) that defines standards for ‘beauty’, this belief varies from person to person, it also varies on the basis of the country, race and culture we come from.

Look at this, this is what ideal woman body looks like in 18 countries according to UK online pharmacy Superdrug Online Doctors.

As you can see, in different countries and culture, we can see differences in preference.

Every person has his/her different standards/preference by which they judge “beauty” and this personal preference is usually coming from a natural belief system established in the subconscious mind, but it also comes from the external world that we get from our society which can usually hide our natural preference.


You are unconsciously influenced by external conditionings in daily life through friends, teachers, family, media, movies, social network, etc. So be mindful of what kind of information you feed your mind.

2-1: Don’t Focus on Judgemental Thoughts

The physical mind tends to automatically compare and judge things, this is a very natural tendency of the mind. 

So, we tend to judge our body based on the standards of physical beauty image in our mind and external ideas coming from our society.


When your body doesn't meet these standards that you hold in your mind, you will start thinking negatively about the body and this act of negativity of course only creates more negative perceptions (definitions) about your body which will trigger you to lose confidence and make it hard for you to love your body.

I can tell more than 80% of people have this negative body images, especially in today’s age where there is so much exposure to the outside world due to the internet.

People are unconsciously comparing themselves to other people there and being affected by their people’s thoughts and opinions in day to day life without being aware of it.

And the worst of all…

The negative perceptions you have towards yourself would affect your reality too, since that’s how energy works, you can’t expect someone treats you good even if you don’t believe in the value of yourself.


So before blaming the outside for being judgemental, you need to look within and see how judgemental you are towards your own body.

2-2: Dissolving Negative Perceptions

Once these negative body images are embedded into your mind, you have no option but to keep fueling the physical mind’s judgemental, negative, thoughts about the body.

This is an unconscious living – where you are not in charge of your thoughts and emotions − you are helplessly pulled around by your mind constantly. 

You don’t want to stay there, right?

Don’t worry I’ll teach you how to get out of it in a bit.


On the other hand, when you become conscious of the mind by awakening out of mind identification, you will gain the freedom to choose to disbelieve the mind's negative thoughts about your body.

From this higher perspective where you are totally conscious of the mind, you can understand more clearly that your body is unique the way it is and there’s no need of changing it at all!

2-3: How to Start Loving Yourself & Your Body

When you truly accept yourself, the way your body is, you will allow for it natural expression to be filed. 

This means you will be able to express yourself fearlessly the way you are, and no longer being influenced by some negative judgement that may come from the outside.

You either accept your body or stay being insecure. 

You can never move forward without self-acceptance.


​Accepting yourself means *unconditionally* accepting yourself the way you are without making any limitation or reason to do so. If there's a reason, you accept yourself because that's YOU.

Without self-acceptance, there is no self-love.

Remember, in the end, it’s not about voices from the outside, rather it’s about your definition (inner response) that defines your experience of a moment.

As you deepen your awareness, you start coming to a place of acceptance about your physical body and start being thankful for your own uniqueness as a human being. 

This is when you are ready for the next step, where begin awakening to your self-love which is one of the very necessary factors for a quality living.


As you deepen your awareness, you start coming to a place of acceptance about your physical body and start being thankful for your own uniqueness as a human being. This is when you are ready for the next step, where you begin awakening to your self-love which is one of the very necessary factors for a quality living.

2-4: We Are All Unique & Beautiful

So you need to truly accept the way you are and stop being judgemental about your body, just because it’s different from other people’s or the image of your beauty in the mind. 

Everyone’s different.

By loving your body, you will be able to see the beauty inherent in everyone and not be rooted in any shallow, or surface level, judgements about others. 

You will find beauty everywhere because it’s within you and your reality has no choice but to reflect it back to you as it is since it’s made of your consciousness. 

Confident people are sexy. Right?


When you develop the consciousness to appreciate your uniqueness, you automatically gain the capacity to appreciate the uniqueness in others, in every form, in everybody.

3. Enhancing Your Light & Being True Self

By accepting your body, you will not only start loving your body but bring alignment with the body and raise your vibrational frequency. 

Love is one of the strongest positive emotions and this kind of higher energy can attract more good things coming into your life as well as enhancing your light in the whole level. 

That’s a huge bonus for loving yourself, so why not love yourself?

Remember self-love is the most powerful way to heal your body and mind, and necessary for you in order to express the light of your being (the real you) through your physical form.

That’s what makes you truly SHINE as a person.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful your body is on the surface, if you are not letting the light of your being shine through enough, you are lacking the “essence of being“, which we are all attracted more in other person rather than just the body


A person with an immature mind gives more importance to physical looks than the essence of the human being.

3-1: Your Essence of Being is What Counts Most

Through life, we understand that physical looks don’t define attraction but it’s the essence of being that truly makes the person attractive, especially for the long term. 

We all have this essence in us because we are all the same being, but some of us mask our true nature essence with the negativity/shallowness coming from the underdeveloped (immature) mind.

Are you really attracted to the person who’s physically handsome/pretty but with an ugly personality (the essence of being)? 


At least most of us don’t, unless you are just looking for a fling.

You get turned off by him/her no matter how beautiful that person may be unless you have a weird tendency to like dickheads…


Remember what truly matters is your essence as *who you are*, never your physical appearance. For example, sometimes there comes a person you get naturally attracted to for almost no reason even though his/her physical appearance isn't your preference, this is because his/her essence is matching with your vibration and you are getting attracted.

3-2: Understanding the Desire to Look Good

We all have the desire to look good which is very natural for the mind to crave for it, and there’s no need of opposing or suppressing the desire.

Just release the energy through you. 

If you allow it, the desire will manifest into your reality in ways that will make your body look/feel better by bringing some physical changes to your body − you may feel inspired to eat healthy, do some workout, use cosmetic products, wear a certain clothing style or take a surgery to rectify a certain deformity of the body (as long as the desire isn’t coming from fear/lack, you can be in alignment with yourself).

In today’s age, most people take these kinds of action based on their fear/lack.

Don’t believe me? 

Then think about WHY you want to look better deep inside.

You want to look better… maybe because you want to impress other people, you want it because you think you are not enough, you want it because you don’t like your own body.

These negative beliefs are usually behind most of your desires, even if you’re not aware of them.


Many of our action and decision are usually pushed by the desire filtered with the negativity of fear/lack, instead of pure desire that doesn't contain any negative energy.

And if your desire is based on fear or lack, it means you are NOT in alignment with your well-being, true self, or higher self – you name it.

You need to understand yourself enough, WHY you want it.

Ask yourself this question: “What kind of belief do I have to feel this way?” to find out a core belief that’s causing that emotion.

3-3: Respect the Beauty of Others & Yours

You want to look good, and it doesn’t make you egoistic or vain at all.

However if your are identified with the mind filled by the negative body images of your body and having narrow judgemental thoughts towards others based on their looks, this makes you a very shallow person and it will also prevent your nature being from shining through, which will make you very unattractive to others, and to yourself. 


You need to learn to accept yourself, the way your body is and be thankful for its uniqueness because everyone is different and beautiful in their way, there's no any kind of the "right" image of beauty except the ones you made in your mind by taking the idea from the society.

So drop these limitations and ideas of “beauty”, and redefine what “beauty” is for yourself, in a way you prefer and choose to believe in that. 

Not what the society pushes us.

You will no longer feel insecurity or inferiority by someone’s judgemental idea of you. 

Because YOU know you are the only one who can make yourself feel that way or when you let yourself believe in their words.


You will no longer feel insecurity or inferiority by someone's judgemental idea of you. Because YOU know you are the only one who can make yourself feel that way or when you let yourself believe in their words.

3-4: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else You Are Not

There are a lot of people who are trying hard to change their body, and constantly keep failing at it. 

Those people are not internally aligned with their nature being which cause them have “negative body image” in their mind and would attract realities that make them feel that way, it’s a vicious cycle.

If you are in this negative cycle and want to get out of it, then you first need to STOP trying to change your body and accept the way your body is. 

Only then you can start healing negativity coming from a place of lack/fear and love yourself.

Once you healed your negativity, you will no longer feel necessary to change your body anymore because you are truly accepting the way you are and very comfortable with your body.


Take the time to come to an alignment and focus on aligning with your nature being, you will be able to sync up with your desire for a healthier and better-looking body.

4. Become the Best Version of Yourself!

If you truly become in alignment with your nature being, a lot of synchronicities will start occurring in physical level which is an essential process for manifesting your desired image of the body into this reality.


For example, let's say you are trying to make your skin clearer and more beautiful, you will start experiencing synchronicities where you are feeling it's really happening (that your skin is actually getting clear and beautiful) even if you can't see any big difference yet, but as you continue feeling that way (staying in that vibration), it becomes a reality soon.

In the end, it’s only the matter of your definition within, how you “accept” (define) the circumstance is what defines your experience about it, never the outside. 

Got it?

Lastly, take this word from me as a reminder to your soul.

We believe we all have “flaws” that we are imperfect, but God never created something “imperfect”, he designed everything in the Universe to be perfect including you.

Imperfection is only an illusion of the mind’s perception coming from a place of lack. 

Please remember you are imperfectly perfect beyond your mind.

Love yourself and cherish others.

What do you think?

Did this article help you accept yourself and start loving yourself even a little bit?

I hope it did.

Let me know your thoughts about this article in the comments below, or share your tips and advice on how you take good care of yourself.

It will benefit everyone here.

Did it help you?

If you’ve enjoyed my article and thankful for it − please share this post with your friends, your family, your partner and on your blog or your social media. 

There may need people who need to hear the message.

This will really help other people grow and me keep running this blog, thank you very much for taking the time to read this lengthy article.

I hope it was worth your time.


Reona Saito

Reona Saito

Reona Saito is the Founder of MindsetDev and transformational mentor from Japan. As also a successful marketer, he has helped many companies from startups to Fortune 500 like Microsoft, Samsung, Coca-Cola grow their revenues. Today he is traveling the world and empowering people reach their personal and business goals through the power of mindset and manifestation.
Reona Saito

Reona Saito

Reona Saito is the Founder of MindsetDev and transformational mentor from Japan. As also a successful marketer, he has helped many companies from startups to Fortune 500 like Microsoft, Samsung, Coca-Cola grow their revenues. Today he is traveling the world and empowering people reach their personal and business goals through the power of mindset and manifestation.



9 Responses

  1. Hello Reona,

    Thank you for releasing such a fantastic article again.

    Thank you also for sending me a replay link for Natalie Ledwell since I lost my internet connection during the training time.

    Everything she said is just awesome its really warm in my soul.

    Anyways, your article is always the best of all and i need this since I’m also comparing myself sometimes.

    Now Im aware of it all thanks to you. You know that. :)

    I’ll shout it out to the world so they will also gain confidence and self awareness.

    You may be unaware but you are helping a lot of people to find their selves and find inner peace.

    Many people lost in the darkness and loneliness, I highly agree you’re hope and light… MAY THE UNIVERSE BLESS YOU MORE.

    1. Reona Saito says:

      Thank you for the amazing comment Ariane, and I’m very happy to see that you enjoy reading my article as usual which means a lot for me :)

      And you are very welcome, I’m glad you’ve enjoyed her online webinar. Seriously, people like you make my work worth, I’m really thankful for you letting me know. Your voice is my motivation for writing and keep empowering people, thank you again Ariane.

      Someday, I know you will conquer your own negativity since you are walking on the light of light, so keep going.

      May be full of happiness with you.

  2. Reona, your article made me rethink a few things! Stunning post!

  3. Reona Saito says:

    Hey Annalize,

    Thank you for the comment. I’m very glad if this article has made you feel better about your body and become a little bit more confident than before reading this!

  4. Hello, Reona!

    Your articles does worth my time. I love it.

    The way you explain the points are detail.

    I’d already read many post kind of this, but I thought that yours is a great one!

  5. Reona Saito says:

    Hi Astrid!

    Thank you for liking my work! I’m very happy to know my article could still give you new things to learn for yourself even you already knew a lot in this term. I’ll try my best to bring you more great contents ^^

  6. Hello, i love the article thoroughly and the best part is the video of water crystals when in contact with emotions of humans. I appreciate your efforts you are putting in such posts… Kudos..! Keep writing & keep making the world a positive place to live in … Thank You :)

  7. Reona Saito says:

    I know right Shalini?

    When I saw Dr. Emoto’s experiments for the first time, I was actually surprised even I knew how energy affects the object around!

    I hope this article helped you become the best version of yourself.. and I will do, thank you very much :)

  8. Thank you Reona.

    This is helping me profoundly.

    I’m taking my time through each article as I’m letting it all soak in and don’t want to miss a thing.

    Thank you for helping people!

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