It may disappoint ya...
But today, I'm not gonna give away some advice or tips, for the very first time on this blog :-)
Well, I want to share my personal story with you on how I turned my life around 360 degrees in short 3 years... hoping to inspire you to overcome your fears and start following your passion (that's what I want you to do!)
Now, let me introduce for those who don't know me...
My name is Reona Saito (as many of you probably know me if you're my subscriber or following me on social media). Well don't get me wrong, I'm male (though my name sounds like girl's). My friends usually call me Reo, but you can call me however you want. It's not important anyway.
I'm also founder of this fab blog mindsetdev.com (I tried really hard to make it awesome, ya know?)
I'm an Entrepreneur, Internet Marketer, and Personal Development fanatic (also a hardcore gamer and Apple geek), from the Land of the Rising Sun... yes that's right, it's Japan. The country of sushi, samurai, ninja and a lot of weird things :-)
Now let me tell you a little story...
The Darkest Moment of My Life
In 2014, I was a student in a computer college who was financially broke (I almost had to abandon my education). Also, I was suffering from my mind at that time,
What the Hell is OCD?
Mr. Google says Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a disorder of the brain and behavior. OCD causes severe anxiety in those affected. OCD involves with obsessions and compulsions that take a lot of time and get in the way of important activities the person values.
Trust me, you don't want to fall for this shit.
In many cases of OCD, it also affects the person's behavior due to his/her thought/emotion pattern, however in my case, I was only affected psychologically, cause I'm a tough bastard with strong willpower :-)
It's weird to say by myself but I know I'm a very self-conscious person with self-discipline, that's why I've never let my crazy thoughts take control of my actions... which is also why no one else realized I was actually suffering from my mind (since I didn't tell anyone).
But inside, I was mentally exhausted and very tired of living at that time. Crazy dark thoughts going around in my head all the time and I was feeling anxious every day. The thing is that I couldn't stop it but letting these crazy thoughts affect me and make me anxious, even though I was consciously understanding these thoughts were NOT even real. Strange, right?
I couldn't stop being anxious, even though I wanted to stop it so bad.
But that's OCD. I was obsessed with negative thoughts, instead of positive ones.
I felt so stupid, seeing myself not being able to stop from overreacting to these thoughts which weren't even real. Heck...
At that time, I was losing myself and it's obvious that I wasn't in the right mental condition. I didn't know what was true or wrong anymore, or what to believe. Thoughts were loud and I couldn't seem to control them at all.
I was just overwhelmed and being anxious about things that were not even real. And the worst of all, I had no one to tell. Maybe, I just didn't want to tell anybody...
I was tired to the point that I was thinking some stupid shit like "Would it be better if I killed myself?"
In a way, I was THAT mentally exhausted, because of feeling anxiety due to the overwhelming negativity from my mind. I just wanted to escape from my mind...
Trust me, I never imagined that I would suffer like this way before... I mean it was so opposite of me. Believe it or not, seriously I was (am still) a positive bastard who doesn't worry about his shits at all. My life motto was "Don't give a fuck" and I was really living along it. Such a stress-free life, ya know?
Life was good.
I was (am still) very good at controlling my stress, even though I had problems in my life, I've never had to worry or bother about something to the point it made me anxious severely since I could always find ways to be optimistic. That's been my strength.
But few years later... Ironically, that positive bastard aka me caught myself seriously suffering from being severely anxious about craps which I shouldn't have cared.
Something I could never imagine before. This is also kinda scary knowing mental disorder could happen to anyone regardless of who we are.
Well, to tell you a consequence, I'm back to that positive bastard again :-)
But you may be wondering.... like how in the world could such a very positive person fall for a mental disorder suddenly?
How I Fell for the Dark Side...
I lost a girl who was my everything. My heart was literally broken, and that was the trigger to losing my balance. Seems like my heart wasn't as tough as I thought it to be when it comes to love, ugh.
The biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life was letting someone become my WHOLE whole happiness, I believed that I couldn't be happy without her. Silly, right?
I'll never do that again and I advise you not to ever put your happiness on others or things (external conditions), because they can be taken away easily at any moment. Always be responsible for your OWN happiness.
I had to learn the lesson in the hardest way. But you don't need to, if you learn from my mistakes.
The End of My Love Story
I was blind in love...
She was my first love, as well as my whole happiness (at that moment). She's the person who first showed me that I could love someone THIS deeply and passionately. It was the same for her too. As a matter of fact, we were deeply in love and loving each other.
Our relationship was passionate and romantic as a burning fire... However, I can now see that it was also kinda unhealthy. Don't get me wrong, nothing's wrong with romantic and passionate relationships (I swear I love them and want it!). But for us, our attachment to each other was too strong to the point that it was making our relationship unhealthy. It was a codependent relationship.
People usually lose themselves in the processing of loving another...
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. hate leads to suffering.
I hate to admit it, but Master Yoda, you are absolutely right.
The more I loved her, the stronger my attachment to her became bigger, so was my fear of losing her. It used to scare the hell out of me whenever I thought of my life without her. But you know it happened in the end... hell.
My worst nightmare manifested into the reality.
At the end of our relationship, she was not the person I knew. She was a different person, she was mostly cold to me for almost no reason and was trying to take distance from me. She never told me why regardless of how many times I asked, and we were usually fighting because of that. I felt unloved and sad...
And the worst of all, she (she's a teen) started smoking, doing self-harm, taking drugs, and drinking alcohol. She was getting out of control, the situation was getting worse every day. Of course, I tried to stop her, but she never listened.
After 5 months of trying to fix our relationship alone, I decided to let go of her since she was stealing my happiness... I was just mentally and physically drained after everything. I knew it was not good for me at this rate, the relationship was being toxic to me.
In December 2013, we both decided to put a period to our relationship after 4 years of everything that happened and go on our own separate ways. I admit it, it was the best of my life.
The Day I Lost Myself & Fell to the Dark Side
Since that day... you know everything changed. I lost someone who used to be my everything and happiness. My life suddenly became empty, so was I...
I forgot to be happy on my own and felt hopeless about my future not knowing what to do with my life anymore... I've been empty like that for a few months.
And when I realized, it was too late. I was fucked.
The negativity was overflowing in my mind and I couldn't control my emotion anymore... That's when I totally lost my balance. I fell to the dark side, and then I suffered a lot as I shared the story with you earlier.
I quitted my part time job, I couldn't focus on my school or anything else in my life. Soon after I couldn't pay for my education and I almost had to leave my college... until my grandpa supported me financially. I can't be thankful enough.
I suffered and suffered for the whole year... to the point it was enough for me.
Remember, no storm, even the one in your life can last forever.
How I Overcame My Negativity & Turned My Life Around
One day, I decided to stand up for myself and CHANGE my life. I was sick of living this way, feeling depressed and miserable for myself like a loser.
All I knew was that I didn't want to stay there for the rest of my life.
I had to change.
So I did... I decided to face off my negativity, instead of escaping from them. It took some time, but I've managed to overcome it by my own without ever depending on medicine or whatsoever.
Starting Out My New Life with Full of Hopes
I healed my negativity and I started focusing on what I had to do with my life. In 2015, I graduated from my college and I got busy with my life.
Then I got a job just like everyone else. A decent job with a good salary. My parent was happy about that which made me happy.
But as you know, I've quit it anyway.
And hence I'm writing this and you're reading this right now on my blog :-)
So why the hell did I quit a job that was good?
In short, I was unhappy with my life and I knew I couldn't be happy as long as I'd stay there.
Even though my colleagues were really nice, but I hated the job. When I joined the company, it was an extremely busy season and everyone was usually overworking on their desks till 11 pm at least in my department, some people were even staying at till 2 am and had to sleep in the company. Crazy, right?
It's not a startup company, big enough with more than 400 employees.
Many of my days, I also had to overwork till 9pm-11pm (when my normal shift was 9:00 am -5:00 pm) and every day I mostly come home being super exhausted late at night. I barely had my "private time" during that period, since I had to leave my home before 7:00 am and come home around 11 pm.
As soon as I get home, I quickly take a shower and eat my late ass dinner, and then sleep right away for tomorrow. Nothing more. It was becoming my "normal day" and I was almost getting used to
I felt I'm dead even though I'm alive...
You may not be able to believe me, but it really happened.
Japan is one of the top countries with long work hours, which sometimes become a problem here. My company isn't usually like this, however, it was just a really busy period due to the crazy number of demands and this was expected to continue for at least half a year. Shit...
My colleagues looked unhappy and tired just like me... But they did NOT complain against their bosses, even though it's obvious that they couldn't afford to spend enough time with their family most of their days or do something they like.
Japanese people are probably too polite (too hard working) in this way, which could usually be a bad thing in some occasions. But I couldn't be like everyone here, I couldn't withstand. I was physically and mentally exhausted.
When I thought of doing this for years to come, you know I felt freaking sick and hopeless about the future. I'm working really hard, but for what?
No matter how much I work, this job never helps me get closer to my personal goals. All I get is the spent time that I will never get back and some money, despite being unhappy and mentally drained... That's when I knew I had to quit this job, even though they paid me enough $$$$.
Life is too short to be anything else but happy. Right?
That's MY life motto!
Life is too short to waste time waiting for people's approval on how you live it.
Starting Out My Career As an Internet Marketer
I really wanted to do something I can be passionate for, and I looked for the answer to living the life of my dream where I can spend my life doing what I love every day... and I found that Internet Business can help me with it.
So I went against the advice of everyone and quit.
Long story short, since then I've been working online full time and making my living. Today, I have more than enough time (which I was lacking the most when I was working like a slave) and money to enjoy my life without worrying about anything at all :-)
Sounds too good to be true?
I know, but of course, this lifestyle never happened without any hustles or failures. Rather, full of them. Trust me.
I have sacrificed my time analysing how this whole online business thing works and learning from people who are already making a huge success in this. When people around my age are partying and getting wasted on weekends, I was staying at home executing what I knew little by little and trying to figure out how to make this work. It seemed so far apart but I just do what I can do to see how far can it lead to.
To be honest, it was really boring but I wanted to see results... I had to, you know I risked my life for this by quitting my job.
Also working from home having no one to control sounds an awesome idea, doesn't it?
But the truth is, you can be a tough decision because everywhere inside the house are filled with distractions and we can't seem to work effectively (the biggest issue many internet marketers face). It's very hard to maintain your motivation and keep sticking to your own tasks since there's no one else but you.
Focus Is a Crucial Key to Success
The moment you pick your phone, you get a notification from Facebook and see what your friends are doing and 1 hour gone. Once you open Netflix app, 3 hours gone... and when you realize? It's already 10 pm, time to take a shower and sleep.
Hell yeah! Another day of doing nothing!
I faced this many times and wasted a lot of the time in the beginning which was the reason I didn't proceed fast when I started out... But luckily I could realize how I was just wasting my precious time. So I did the necessary steps to complete the undone tasks
When I was learning how this business works and going through training videos, my mom thought that I was playing computer games and told me to get a part-time job. She told me "Why are you staying at home when people out there working? You need to get some job, even your little sister (high school student) is working. Your attitude can't bring you far in life."
I tried to explain many times but she didn't understand me.
For her, I was just a son without a job but staying at home playing computer games.
And the worst of all? I had no results to prove that I was doing something right. I didn't earn almost anything for the first 6 months regardless I was spending 12 hours a day writing 3 articles every day, hoping it'd work out but it never did in the end.
At that point of time, I was really angry and sad because nobody understood what I was going through, I felt so lonely but I have to continue to do that. Remember, I started for myself, not others.
I kept sacrificing my time and sleep to learn as much as I could and execute whatever I knew while most of the people around me were telling me to stop doing shit on the computer already, and do something that's "proven" and "safe", though internet business is also proven, just not much people in Japan are doing. It's a business that people all over around the world is doing it.
Your Mindset Is Everything
However, I was still struggling to make money online around that time, that's when I met Sandy (who's the author of Instant Switch & I also talked about her a little bit in MPM), she's a Law of Attraction coach, also doing IM like me and killing it, unlike me at that time.
We talked a lot, from business to the law of attraction... It seems that what I was doing wasn't that bad, but somehow I wasn't getting good results. She told me that there's a problem with my mindset, especially towards
Looking back, I can clearly see that because like she said, I had so many negative limiting beliefs towards money. Deep inside, I was thinking I couldn't be successful and earn a lot of money (that I don't deserve
With the help from Sandy, I worked on rewiring my negative limiting beliefs to positive ones. It took some time, but I started seeing some big paradigm shifts in my life after a few months. I didn't change my business model, but I suddenly started getting results which really made me surprised. This was when I re-confirmed the power of the subconscious mind, even though I was already believing it.
Long story short, it comes to this day. Though, I struggled for 7 months in the beginning and almost went for looking a job... But everything turned around very quick after I had a paradigm shift in my mindset with the help of awesome people, now I'm making $4K a month. Not shabby, right?
What I'm now trying to do is scale up my business by investing more, and I'm currently studying Advertising, CRM, Conversion Optimization, and Email Marketing, as well as reading a lot of personal development books. There're so many things to do though since I'm doing everything alone, but it's worth it knowing everything I do for is helping me get closer to my goals :)
Everything looked so far apart in the beginning, but things have started making sense, I can see how everything was connected. So no matter how miserable your life may be... if you have the courage to follow your passion and dream, I know you can achieve it!
It's all about your mindset.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Now is Your Turn, Ready to Change Your Life?
In life, we can't really predict what will happen but what keep us going is the DREAM and GOALS we have set for ourselves. If you want to live your life without regret and make your dreams come true. To do that, you have to stop doing what other people want you to, and listening to their negative voices, even they may be from your parents or best friends. Listen to your own heart, and do what it feels RIGHT for you.
Though, you will ALWAYS lose two things. Money and Time. You can always get back the money you lost, but you can never get back the time you wasted. If you know you're now not living the life you want... you know what you have to.
Go CHANGE it, and follow what your heart wants, instead of following what people wants. This is your damn life!
Have the courage to get out of your comfort zone, and start working for your dreams, for WHAT truly matters to you.
But remember it won’t be easy. At some point, I guarantee you’ll want to quit. I guarantee people will treat you like you’re insane. I guarantee you’ll cry yourself to sleep, wondering why nothing works out for you.
But never stop believing in yourself. I know the world is full of naysayers, all of them eager to shout you down at the slightest indication you might transcend mediocrity, but the greatest sin you can commit is to yourself become one of them.
Our job isn’t to join that group, but to silence it, to accomplish things so great and unimaginable that you're truly seeking in life.
Don't waste your precious time by staying with people who keep stealing your energy and happiness. Stop doing things that don't push you forward to your goals.
Once again I'm telling you... DO what matters for you.
You can do it.
I believe in you.
So get started.
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